Sunday, April 13, 2014

update

April drew expectations, hope and perhaps even tinges of love. Nearing the midst of April, just 4 more days to my birthday which I am so afraid of I don't know why I always kind of feel like shit during my birthday or I just feel like shit every time and this "special" day didn't really repel the negativity in me, things really seem very bleak. I screwed up a couple of times and I just don't really feel up to anything. Vietnam will be a great escape for me I hope. Things will be ok, I believe. I have always wanted so much more than what I have, and contentment is something I don't feel very often. However, it's never too late to change right? I am always in a battle of constantly changing for the better. I have so much boiled up inside me and I guess it kinda exploded when I lost my consciousness. It is so sad to see the wreck in me exposed to a maximum scale. My full blown catastrophe. I have learnt that everything happens for a reason and I've done whatever I deem fit to save the mess. I tried picking up the pieces but you wouldn't let me and so I am absolutely helpless. You became collateral damage. I apologize yet again and I hope that you will never meet a wreck like me again. I should've let you go sooner but I guess I wasn't contented with what we had and wanted more from you. 

But anyway, back to living through April. Thank you girls for being by my side, thank you for my birthday present, cards and for being my friends. It is always such a blessing to have friends by your side. 
Can't wait for graduation day, God blesses me so much my gpa is above 3!!!! yay 

I hope April brings blessing to all of you :-) 

xxx 

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