Tuesday, October 29, 2013

x n o t a g a i n x

it's so hard sometimes i don't know what to do with all this pain and hurt i inflict upon myself i have tried explaining to so many people and they have heard the same old story too many times i wish i could stop too but i'm so weak i don't know what to do i really want to disappear they tell me you'll be better in time to come but here i am still all alone and broken and empty it wouldn't make a difference if i were to let myself go tonight i have been trying and living and every single day takes so much of a toll on me i live and i wonder what am i really living for what am i doing here breathing and wasting space i lie here and i see nothing all i can see are what has been taken away from me and i dwell in the missing pieces i spent so much time trying to fix myself and love but what happened? nothing there was no difference i opened up myself to someone and i showed too much ugliness vulnerability killed me how i remembered those words you said to me that didn't mean anything to you how i treat them with such importance fooled into thinking you love me too and here you go while i am beaten about life and drowning in misery it will always go back to you you are the source of my misery i just wish one day i could make living a happy memory

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