yay to class chalet last week from mon-wed had a blast w my favorite people we just nua n play games n drink n smoke n enjoy each other's company!!!
michelle the bimbo sia chiobu xx
mich ash n ali whoop
camwhoring in the room 'cause everyone else was watching tv downstairs booooooooo
we went downstairs n played a round of charades n went out to explore the area! played some arcade games while the boys play pool n we ordered macs for dinz satisfied cravings for seaweed shaker fries yumz
N I MANAGED TO CAPTURE A SHOT OF ELSENT TRIPPING HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA OK not as funny as i thought it would be m e h
our mister president
after dinner n chilling for a bit we started drinking n greg got the k cup n he T O H hahahaha
here's a picture of drunk greg for you
our sweet couple awwwwww
a photo with elsent
day 2 was also quite nua we had literally nothing much to eat we ate like maggie for 2 days omg so pathetic we had to ask imran n jean to help us buy MORE maggie mee n eggs #sighz
so i wanted to bring down the mattress n mich helped me n *bam* we thought of making a mattress slide n so we did!!!
team investigation hahahahha
imz n i whoop
n we all slept together around 5 plus?
n before that we had a group photo kindly taken by nadia weeeeee n ms tng joined us too!!
then went for an events job with lp!
FRIDAY WAS HARDWELL DAY WHOOP WHOOP
ali helping me put on the floral headband n i'm just like hwahwa too feminine for me but fuck it hahaha
yay we color coordinated by chance haha all wearing white top whoop!
the opening of hardwell!!!
look at the amount of people omgz
our after hardwell's tired n satisfied faces hahahaha
Then sat-sun was work @ f1 it was awesome!!! super tiring but super worth it $400 in 2 days straight cash omgz best job ever
had a great week xxxxx
have been thinking a lot about you n i realized it's not you you that i'm actually thinking about it's the idea of you i don't miss your face, your body or your anything that defines who you are, i just miss your presence, miss having someone close to me constantly there it's a little bit of a mess when i think about it because if i just miss having someone to talk to everyday n someone that cares about me, i had him, but i didn't feel the same n i cannot allow just anyone to be close to me and fill the void you left in my heart i guess i still need time, time to adapt to being by myself, time to be ok again, time to stop missing the idea of you
i dreamed about you last night n i kinda fake beat you when you told me you were interested in someone else i even had her name some chinese name which i remember n perhaps if u ever in the future date someone with that name it proves i'm psychic but yeah i dreamed about you talking about her describing her and she's nothing like me she's what you've always wanted n i was ok with that i know that i'm not the kinda person u were looking for n we just happened to be 2 lonely people coming together n making each other feel less alone but in the end i was greedy n i wanted too much n everything fell apart so it's ok i'm back to being alone n i guess you're back to being peaceful n happy n that's great but somehow a part of you disgusts me n i don't really want to think about it because it ruins the image of you in my eyes n i just want to remember you as this person that has tried to gave his all n tried to make me happy n tried to love me i don't want to remember all the details of how you dragged things out n all the nasty things you've said n worst of all the private shit you weren't s'pose to say n i saw them all it was gross n i just don't want to remember you like that
i just want somebody to talk to but not anybody i'm always so demanding of things even when i shouldn't be i feel like i'm always the one trying to salvage friendships or trying to keep in touch n i always talk too much nobody ever really wants to listen to me my good intentions gets read wrongly n i would like to acknowledge the fact that there will not be a difference if i managed to kill myself tonight this is why it is so hard for me to carry on do people think i'm truly happy when i'm laughing at myself doing stupid things? i just want to be happy n i grasp every opportunity that makes me laugh it gives me more meaning to life when i know i can make people happy i am too delusional i am really just a bunch of contradictions stitched together n i'm tearing at the seams
i have so much to say i don't know who to talk to where to go