Saturday, July 13, 2013

i wish you love

feeling super super super s u i c i d a l 

i feel like i'm melting blending into the ground into the surroundings 

i feel like i'm slowly disappearing s  l o w ly going i don't know whether to be happy or sad about it but i guess it's good for now today i s bleak no plans day i really just want to be in a cave and hide there i don't want to do anything i want to see parts of me slowly being transparent........... then all at once

i don't know which to choose jump swallow cut stab hang ouch choke which is best maybe pain is good painless d would mean nothing too easy too stupid 

no no not because of a heartbreak no no no not because of a guy no no no yes because my whole life is a lie my whole existence is temporary i have to go i really have to go courage and friends are what stops me (lack of the latter) 

i just need someone to talk to i ne      e d to go back back in time and live there i exist only in the past there is no present i am neither dead nor alive this in between is the worst i am nothing d arkness overwhelms me fill me fill every single molecular part of me i am made out of sadness "my breaking heart and i agree that you and i could never be so with my best my very best i set you free" 

i feel in control when i think about having the power to end  all this end the big mistake of me i f e e l better to destroy myself i fe     el good this road down self-destruction i take and i'm not regretting one b i t i hope nobody reads this i hope nobody cares enough i hope there will be no one left i am dying slowly but surely i can do this i can en d this i  bought enough i think  o   d enough? to wonderland 

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