Monday, April 30, 2012

To whom it may concern,

Goodbye x

Yes. I'm a bitch. I feel like shit landing you into this. ha ha n i feel stupid feeling like shit. It seems you got through this so much better than me. I hate goodbyes. I hate the fact that people had to stop talking to me stop all interaction with me just to "move on" or whatever i hate the fact that people had to take time away from me maybe it's normal maybe it's human but i cannot stand the fact that people had to ignore me i mean if my existence bother u so much i can really just die u know? i have serious issues i mean if u really need to take time away from me it's ok u can take infinite time away from me once i die i abhor it when i get ignored n to an extreme end u know how that feels like? when u sit in a room with all your closest people n nobody even looks at u nobody even talks to u n u wonder whether u really did exist but u know deep down u know u do n they're just trying to pretend u're not there to make them feel better that is one  fucked-up shit n having to pretend it's ok it's normal having to pretend nothing's wrong u know how that feels? not even a million cuts on my wrist tantamount to that n i am through w all of that so i  hope it explains why i have such strong negativity towards all of this i hate time-outs n time i didn't give u i'm sorry i couldn't give u i couldn't bring myself to n i knew somehow things were going to turn bad i had a feeling i knew u would get over me really soon all of them did u know it's no surprise but i really thought we were better than this i thought we were stronger than this i act all tough n manly but u don't know how much i miss u ha what a stupid thing to say after pushing u away i don't want anything from u other than friendship but u can't give that to me n it seems u get over things quickly u gave up even before the fight u didn't even try i thought that was a wimpish act but it's true i might not accept u so i shouldn't even be thinking about it huh but i wish u stayed though too bad i couldn't take it anymore i don't want to be left there hanging n your ego ha ha must maintain u insulted me tq ha ha u've made me feel so much better about myself really :) n it's funny how the person ending up w physical pain is me n how the person feeling like shit is me too it's funny how i leave scars on my body to remind me what a horrible piece of shit i am isn't it hilarious i can totally do stand-up comedy about my whole life isn't it such a joke? ha ha ha i hope u feel better n i hope your life gets so much better than mine i hope u find someone that appreciates u so much better n i wish u all da best though n i really hope u get what u want- u wanted time away from me i hope i can give u infinite time away from me i really hope so too i need time away from me too x

No comments: