Sunday, March 25, 2012

thoughts round 1

... n i got to thinking about proving having to prove oneself that's all we ever have to do in life huh be it education be it work be it anything actually proving oneself that is actually the key why do u do homework? to prove you understand why do u even study? to get a cert right? n what's that for? to prove your intelligence n then when u come out to work u've to work extremely hard do extras listen to commands n make sure u please ur boss what for? to prove ur abilities n possibly hope for a promotion to prove u're better than the rest n then we go back to the very beginning just when we enter the world that's right the first thing we do is prove that we r alive the doctor make us cry so yes even when it ends when the last breathe is drawn out from u u prove u r dead with symptoms your whole life my whole life everyone's life is about proving n for that one moment i get tired for that one moment i didn't want to have to prove anything i get trashed every single time i stop trying to prove anything it gets weird n uncomfortable huh it just seems w r o n g it doesn't fit with the world it's not how it works u can't NOT prove anything people get upset n things get in a mess when u stop proving things n even in the closest relationship u can have u have to prove ur love towards them thank God i'm not a guy i seldom prove anything i'd totally be the guy girls dread, what with the cliche term 'prove whatever u say' or somewhere along those lines i speak more with my heart rather than my mouth (mostly nonsense comes out from there) actions? nah not really either then probably i don't love enough i don't care enough i don't show enough perhaps i do not know but showing affections was/is not my forte neither do i like being vulnerable i'd love to show blank faces all the fucking time that would be great but guess what? i'm too genuine for that i try my best to be neutral n cool feeling no emotions but a pretense will always stay that way deep down u know the knife cuts deep u feel the pain u just simply ignore it 'ignorance is bliss' that is something to remember x

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