Maybe because I'm angry,maybe because I'm sad. Maybe because I couldn't believe that you were never here. But I still thank you for everything that we've had. I'm at Tiffany's and she's sleeping while I'm bb blogging. I couldn't believe what I saw. But ya,I should have seen it coming. Thanks for replacing me! I know I don't belong anymore. Rather than mourn over it,imma move on and forget about that whole shit. But remember,you've destroyed someone. & if this is what you want,I'll gladly play along. I hate losing everything but there's nothing I can do about it. I tried thinking that maybe you tried to care but you didn't fucking even call. I'm an idiot. I should've known. But now isn't too late. Like you said,it was all for what? Nothing. Then so be it. & truth be told,it was the final straw. I can't face this whole bitch thing and I don't really want to see your face ever again.
Ha. I thought you'll stand by me,but I never should have thought of it at all. Yup, I've learn a lot. Maybe not what you've expected me to learn. & it's funny how we christians sometimes are worse than non-christians. Or maybe it's just me. Everything. & luckily the weed in the fields of roses was extracted early. If not it would've killed everything. I would've destroyed everything. & the love I had for you,turned into greater hate. & I only realized it now. I pray that it won't destroy me. I'm really in a dilemma.
My mom wants to go to church this Sunday! But I don't think I want to go to JDBC. Sigh. I don't want to be selfish. But I don't want to go back on my words. I said I'll leave means I'll leave. I've to ask God for wisdom and strength. I still cannot believe how you decided to sacrifice me and left me on my own. You didn't mean that I needed you too? Maybe less than them,maybe more. But it's for the bigger picture? For the greater good? That once I'm out,I'll forever be out? Ha. You're gone so fast. I don't deserve you at all. I'm adapting to a life of studying and staying at home now. No. More. Distractions. I need to focus on God too. I'm floating away and the current is very strong indeed. One day I might just fall off the waterfall and never be found again.
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