Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I skipped school again today, maybe I just didn't have the mood to go . If I go, I guess I'll be back to normal. Not with a broken heart. Maybe I'm too gullible, or I'm just too nonchalant. Nothing works, I want to help you , I trust you. But I don't know whether it's the right decision or not. I love you, but I don't know how to show it. I guess I need some time to find myself. I don't know, whether I'm good or just evil. I'm sick of relationships too. Don't worry, boyfriend I still love you. It's just me and some other people. People keep leaving my life, one at a time, what's their issue? I don't know & I don't give a fuck. Yes, I'm sick & tired already. I look at my wrist, I don't think it's enough. Too thin, not deep. I'm just ranting. Don't bother. I just wonder when am I going to get a real one. who'll care for me more. I miss being happy, my life is full of obstacles, & I'm stuck in one of it. I can't get out, why won't you save me? Sometimes I wonder, where are You ? Oh, you've left me. Okay well goodbye. I move on, but it always leave a scar. Like my wrist, I'm an emo kid. Deep down inside I'm Ugly Ashley. I know I'm ugly enough, mr. Lego. But sorry, there's more to it. Everything is over. I wish I was older. ohwell . I'm not in a good mood. Maybe I should get anorexic.
I don't know why I always let people hurt me. I guess I just had too much expectation on my friends.
I really should stop. I hate it when you say that. It hurt me , I guess I set a standard that's too high for me. Nobody cares much anyway, nobody understands anyway. What about me? ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
I want to be selfish, selfish selfish selfish.
I think I'll just eat 40 pills and die.
cut my wrist deep and die.